When the Leave Ends (Pregnancy After Loss Support)

We’re over at Pregnancy After Loss Support today.

“On my last day of leave, I sobbed…we’re talking big ugly cries throughout the day, as though I’d never see Little E again. I was going back more exhausted then when I had left, and uncertain of how it was going to come together.”

Check out the full post here.

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The Birth Plan: Pregnancy After Loss Style (Pregnancy After Loss Support)

The Arrival

We’re over at Pregnancy After Loss Support today.

“Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not faulting anyone for wanting things to go a certain way. Rather, as someone who has lost seven children, I can’t imagine requesting anything that could put my baby, or myself, in harm’s way. As they say, We plan, God laughs. And when it comes to pregnancy and delivery, focusing on what really matters is all that matters.”

Check out the full post here.

Circle of Life

Big E and Little E

It’s been just over two months since our youngest son, Little E arrived. He came into this world proudly showing off the strength of his lungs, with a voice that clearly had much to say. Little E’s arrival, two weeks earlier than expected, came at a time where joy was greatly needed in my family. You see, my 94-year old grandmother had just passed away a week earlier, and he arrived on what was to be the last day of her shiva. Talk about the circle of life.

Since the moment he was born, I’ve stared at him in disbelief. After all that Double A and I️ have been through, to be so lucky as to have three healthy, beautiful boys at home, who are so full of life, is everything and then some. Bringing home C was such a gift that turned a light back on in us that we thought was gone forever. J’s arrival was a bonus. And Little E is the icing on the cake we already thought was so sweet.

Somehow, I️ was less anxious this time around. While I️ wouldn’t let my guard down until he was actually here safely, I️ did find myself more present.

Experiencing this pregnancy, a bonus in and of itself, had me in awe with each ultrasound picture, hiccup, kick and turn. I️ knew this was truly the last time I️ was going to be able to experience these precious moments, and I️ wanted–no, I️ needed–to take it all in and store it with my core memories. There were so many years that I️ couldn’t get to this point, and now that I️ was given another opportunity, I️ certainly wasn’t going take it for granted. This is not lost on me now that he’s here and I️ take in the last of the firsts with much joy and excitement, combined with a little bit of sadness.

As we navigate life with three boys, things are pretty crazy, seem surreal, and take much longer than they used to. (Perhaps that’s the reason why it has taken me so long to write about Little E’s arrival!) And amidst the chaos, I️ often find that I️ step back to take in each of our boys, and realize what a journey this has been so far, just how grateful I️ am.

Little E’s Hebrew name is after his sister Baby Krueger, my Grandma Helen, and Papa Harold. One who didn’t get to experience life and two who experienced 190 years between them. It is our hope that the life we create for him, and what he makes of it, is filled with much joy, laughter and adventure, and one that carries on the legacy of his namesakes.

B’sha’ah Tovah: All in Good Time (Pregnancy After Loss Support)

Patience

I’m over at Pregnancy After Loss Support today talking about patience.

“But on the other hand, there was life to be lived during that time. And shutting down or tuning out meant that we’d miss out on precious time in our lives, as individuals, as a couple, and as parents.”

You can check out the full post here.

Finding Presence of Mind During PAL (Pregnancy After Loss Support)

Presence

I’m over at Pregnancy After Loss Support talking about the importance of staying present:

“From the start, I was convinced that all will be OK with this pregnancy and the baby, and I know I need to trust my gut. Yet trusting my gut—and my body—during PAL is hard when both have let me down so many times in the past.”

You can check out the full post here.

The Pregnancy After Pregnancy Loss (PAL Support)

PregnancyAfterPregnancyLoss

We’re over at Pregnancy After Loss Support today talking about the pregnancy after pregnancy loss:

“Pregnancy after loss is nothing new to me. After all, this is my seventh pregnancy. But this is my first pregnancy after a successful pregnancy after loss. So I find myself in new territory that I’m not sure I know how to handle.”

You can check out the full post here.